In the case of the Bard/Dancer jobs, you may be forced to tarp in order to play it.
Tarping never bothered me because the first multiplayer online game I ever played was Phantasy Star Online. In that game, there actually was a game-mechanic difference between playing the game with a male character vs a female character of the same class. For example, the male might be better with attack spells, while the female is better with support spells, so if you wanted to play a certain type of character, you could be forced to tarp. As a result, seeing people playing characters opposite of their irl gender was pretty common.