I have a fairly well Spec'd PC, and even I lag occasionally. It happens on every single RO server out there.
I don't think I can say I've ever played on one without lag. However Anthem is quite often better then most.
For me anyways. The best advice I can give you, is to try it out for yourself. Personally, I find people ingame ignore new
members more often some servers. However on the other hand, it's quite easy to make friends, or was when I started at least.
Just look for people around your level, doing the same thing as you. Ask them if they want to party, and bingo.
You also have to take into account that Anthem has a larger population, when compared to most servers.
People often mark Anthem lower because they claim the population isn't friendly. Like I said, it may be true at first.
However if you don't beg for items, use semi-proper English, and are sociable enough yourself; it takes no time at all for people
to warm up to you. Just don't expect to have all your questions answered just by shouting them out in Prontera.
Most people there are usually busy, and looking for deals. The forums are a great place to ask anything you need at first.
The people in the General questions section are almost always helpful.